Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
