All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
