I love black thongs
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
