Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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