you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
