Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
