after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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