I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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