ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
