doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
