Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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