Can Purell be used as lube?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
