Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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