How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
