True but thats because hes a fetus.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
