Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
