if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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