Got a toothbrush?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
