Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
