i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
