i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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