HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just high enough for therapy.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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