Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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