My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
