I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize