I am puke
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
