Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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