I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize