I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
lol hangovers are for mortals.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
