M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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