All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
