i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
