I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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