You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
