wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
