i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
