in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
