i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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