no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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