I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
