And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
