so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
