the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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