i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
