meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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