Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
