New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize