They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
