OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
