u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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