OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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