Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
