Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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