In the future we'll all be gay
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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