Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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