you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
