I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
His hands were made for my vagina.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
