dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I said "one day" and that day is not today
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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