Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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