she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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