By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
